Hello Goodbye

Few words to deal with overwhelming emotions:

I have nothing else to say. It's my mission to spend my life loving myself, for if I cannot love myself, I cannot love others. I don't quite know if I'm there yet. I can't say whether or not I'm willing to love another at this point in my life. No one else can give me happiness. No one! No one can provide the emotions that are needed to be self actualized but myself. This is going to be my mission. I'm going to do things for myself. I'm going to take MYSELF on vacation. I'm going to buy expensive books for myself and take ME out to romantic dinners for one. Because in the end, people can love you, but only you can make you happy.

Once I get over the fact that all men are assholes, and that some assholes can make you happy, and some assholes can't, things will be alright. Someone will look at me one day and say "I want this woman to be my wife. I want her to be the mother of my children, my partner in life. I want to spend every day making her happy. I want her to be the ray of sunshine in my life because she loves herself, and she loves me, and we respect eachother, and we laugh, and cry, and are happy." When this will happen, no one really knows. Nothing else really matters at this point. No ex boyfriends, no ex friends, no negative influences or horrible situations matter. It's probably best that I block them completely out of my mind because they do nothing but make me sad.

"I must see the other as it is, and not as I would like it to be ot feel it must be. If i have to see the other in a certain way, if I can see only what I would like to see, I will not be able to see the other as it really is. But besides seeing the other as it is, Imust also see myself as I am, I must see what I am doing, and whether what I am doing helps or hinders the growth of the other."
-Meyeroff

That is all blogging world. Until I make my way around this planet, and use the blog to chart my adventures, my concentration goes to school, maintaining my straight A's of this semester so far, getting into the Education department at the University of Sydney, raising $10, 000 for Anastasia the Yorkie's back surgery, buying my macbook, paying off my iPhone, getting rid of my last credit card bill, and absolutely LOVING myself to bits and pieces. I am beautiful. I am a hard woker. I am socially capable. I love. I laugh and I live, and I have no shame. Life is good. As damaged goods I go into tomorrows world, a girl who is learning to forget. A girl who is learning to forgive and understand. From now on, it's me. It's me and only me and anyone who has a problem with that is dared...DARED...to confront me. I'm strong and I'm fucking fabulous, and he no longer exists. He and I is done. And I will be alright.

Till next time.

Jessica